Daisies and Daffodils

 Dead silence, all I could hear was retreating footsteps, it felt like he was already gone, my heart was heavy, I was in deep anguish. Pete had asked that I give him space to process everything, hard as it was i respected his wish.

The prognosis was bad, as a doctor I knew full well my husband was slipping away, I felt helpless, there was nothing I could do.

We prayed fervently and miraculously his health took a turn for the better, his doctors marveled, we were hopeful for complete recovery.

I wanted to cancel a two week work related trip to South Africa, Pete insisted i should attend, he knew how important it was for my career progression. he assured me he will be just fine.

I was greeted with a bouquet of my favourite flowers in my hotel and the note got me smiling all day. “ I know how flowers make you feel especially daisies and daffodils, let’s stay hopeful and don’t be anxious. “I meant it when I promised you we will grow old together” even in his darkest moments Pete still puts my happiness first.

Suddenly he started deteriorating, I cut short my trip, I was desperate to see him, he was gone before I got home. I never got to say goodbye.

It’s been the toughest three months, i wanted some sort of closure. I decided to give out some of his clothes, something he does very frequently. I saw a box, I was curious, it contained a number of envelopes, one caught my attention…. “SORRY I COULD NOT KEEP MY PROMISE”. i opened hurriedly with shaking sweaty hands.

My Daisy, My Daffodils

                By the time you will be reading this letter, I will be gone. I know how much you deeply loved and adored me. It is going to be even more difficult because you have to raise our baby alone.

 Daisy I knew you FINALLY got pregnant after four years of trying and I perfectly understand why you never told me.

I am so happy a part of me is growing inside of you. I need you to be strong for us and our daughter (yes I am so sure it will be a girl). Please name her after my beautiful, beloved wife. 

As much as I could, I left helpful notes on various things I would normally do, reminders and telephone numbers I know you will need, I didn’t forget all the “little tricks” on how to get the best holiday deals, when you are ready to take one with Daisy Jnr. Please show her the world, I also left notes on specific things I would have loved to teach her myself as she grows up. 

Tell  her about me, about us, how we deeply cherished each other, how we prayed for her and how much I would have loved her with all my heart.

I know this will freak you out but I had to do it. I have bought almost everything you need for the first one year for our baby, I wanted to save you the stress, it is with my mum. 

Daisy this is tough for me to write because the plan was to grow old together, swap dentures, still love up on each other, make sure your coffee is ready by 6am, take our favourite walks and spoil our grandchildren. I am deeply sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.

When you meet a good man who loves you and our daughter, give him a chance and move on. you have my blessing. 

Enjoy your life to the fullest , embrace change which is the only constant in life. My Daisy, my Daffodils, See you on the other side ONLY when you are very old and grey.

                                              It’s me, Pete

I guess some tears never fully dry, some memories just can not fade.

When you are blessed to find and experience the purest version of true love, nurture it, grow it, until it blossoms.


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